forgiveness

Day 11: 365 Days of Gratitude 2021

What is forgiveness? There are many circumstances where we may be asked for forgiveness or ask for forgiveness.

When I talk about this, I remind myself, a person’s perception is their reality. This becomes a touchy subject, as individual’s we carry our own baggage, and our environment and experiences alter how we handle direct hits to our pride.

Some people just can’t forgive; while others can’t hold a grudge.

Personally, I have had some terrible experiences at a very young age. The deepest scars, are those where you are given no say. There is no discussion no choice; only a victim. There are other’s who’s loved ones are taken unjustly, and they are asked for forgiveness. While other’s may have counted on a person, who never showed up, when they needed them most. There is emotional or physical infidelity. Then those who are in denial of dysfunction and mistake constructive criticism for insult.

So, what allows us to forgive? It indeed takes strength and self respect to forgive, there are many quotes about this, I won’t bore you with them. Nevertheless, more importantly, what makes us hurt?

Betrayal, I would have to choose betrayal. I have recalled circumstances, when I hurt someone, and when I have been hurt. It always comes down to betrayal.

Betrayal is relational, there has to be a level of concern, closeness or love, as these are the emotions that cause reaction, the closer the relationship, the deeper the hurt.

Betrayal is a personal attack, so we begin the healing process. We put the focus on ourselves and turn the energy inward. We do not allow the perpetrator to zap us of any additional energy. In fact, we take a step back, and ask some questions. These questions are your questions, and will be different in each instance. These are some questions I ask myself when hurt by another’s action.

• What emotions did I feel?
• When have I felt this emotion in the past?
• Am I overreacting?
• What part did I play in this?

The perp no longer exists in physical form, they have morphed into a lesson that we can focus on and use as a tool to begin the healing process. They become faceless and weak. They, actually, presented enlightenment. They helped you identify and heal. Their purpose was served. They are now worthy of your forgiveness. You have become a stronger more intuitive person for granting them forgiveness.

Obviously, these are my personal experiences with forgiveness. My coping mechanisms and what helps me heal.

If you are experiencing emotional distress or have a hurt that you need help with, please identify someone who is qualified to help you, as I am not.

I do know there are a plethora of resources out there, betterhelp.com, is an online resource I have heard lots of good things about!

We have no excuse to ignore our mental health. Healthy mind, happy and healthy you!

If you ever feel in doubt of your existence and feel depressed, please share this with someone. If you ever have thoughts of self harm or suicide, there is help 1-800-273-8255 Always remember, the best is yet to be!